


The Vent Chapters

by coolpib2334



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, I mean this is like a new diary, I needed to vent via fanfic, I'm Sorry, Pining, Rich is pining, Sad, This is literally about my life right now, lotta angst, pine, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-12-08 10:24:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11644587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coolpib2334/pseuds/coolpib2334
Summary: In which I take my BMC babies and let out pent up emotions through fanfictions.





	1. Chapter 1

Brooke opened the door as it ranged. She smiled brightly at the small boy who stood on the other side. 

“Hey, Rich!” She exclaimed happily. 

“Hi Brooke,” he responded. He seemed a bit tense. More so than usual. 

“Come on in.” Brooke opened the door and stepped aside as Rich walked in. 

“Are you okay? You seem kind of...stressed.” She led him to the living room where they plopped down on opposite ends of the couch. 

“I'm having a bit of a crisis...and I thought that maybe you could help.” 

“Yeah of course what's up?”

Rich took a deep breath. 

“So, I'm having this trouble with my feelings. There's this person. I can't say who it is because I don't want the feelings to seem too real. I'm scared of them. I don't know why this is different than any other person I've felt like this about. It feels like it shouldn't be like this. Like these feelings shouldn't be here, but they are.” 

Brooke nodded. “Okay.” 

“So, this person. We've been close friends for awhile. We've hit rocky patches of course. And everyone just always assumed I liked him! But I didn't. I...I don't. I can't.”

“Why can't you?” She asked. Rich shrugged and leaned back onto a pillow. 

“It's different. I can't explain why. I just value his friendship more than I can comprehend. And I've fucked up plenty friendships before, and I can't lose him too. So, the other night, we were talking like always. Sending weird Snapchats to each other. You know, nothing was different. Same as every other night. But then something inside me just clicked. And it was like,, wow. Suddenly I just wanted to be around the person. I would do anything to make him happy. I've always done that. I've always just gone through anything to make him the happiest person ever. I usually did it without thinking. And I don't want feelings for the person. I don't want to want them. I just want to be able to be friends with him. Peacefully. It's complicated. I can't explain why I'm in such denial.” 

“Would it really be so bad to fall for him?” 

“Yes! I don't want things to be awkward. I don't want to be worried about what I should say. I don't want to have butterflies in my stomach when I pass him in the hallway. I don't want to smile whenever I hear his name. I don't want any of that. It's all a bunch of bs.” Rich groaned and smushed his face into a pillow. Deep down, he knew his feelings for Jake would only grow from here. No, he couldn't say Jake's name. That would make it real. It couldn't be real. It would be too painful. 

“Why don't you want any of that?” 

“I can't handle the rejection. I can't handle the look on his face when he hears me say, “I kind of really like you…” I don't want to lose the friendship we have. I don't want to avoid him in the hallway. I wouldn't be able to deal with that rejection. And if I accept the fact that I may like...this person, then it's over for me. I'll fuck it up and he'll never talk to me again. Like I said, I can't handle the rejection. From anyone else maybe, but not from him. It would kill me.” Brooke nodded. 

“Oh. Well, Rich, it's good that you're not bottling up your emotions. At least you're getting them out. If I were you, I'd go ahead and accept the feelings. It will be much easier to deal with them that way.” 

“But I don't want it to be real. Didn't you hear me? If it's real, it's all the more painful. I don't see how it would be easier to deal with if I just accepted them…” 

“Once you accept them, you'll be able to understand them better. And if you understand, it won't be as painful as you think. Trust me, I know how that feels.” 

“But you had the luxury of your feelings being returned.” 

“Well how do you know he doesn't like you back?” Rich almost laughed out loud. 

“Have you seen me? I'm not worth dating.” 

“Hey! You're amazing, Rich. You're cute, funny, smart, and everything anyone could want! Don't say that about yourself.” 

“Thanks, Brooke. But I just...I don't know. I want to gush about him but at the same time I just want him to stop making me feel this way…” Brooke could tell that Rich was starting to clam up on the subject. 

“Well...I'll always be here if you wanna gush about him. Do you wanna watch a movie?” She asked smiling. 

“What d’ya got?” Rich asked in response. He was starting to lighten up a little bit. 

***

Later that night, Rich laid in his bed letting music play. He stared up in the ceiling with his hands folded on his stomach. 

“Why...I don't want to feel like this…” He muttered to himself. He noticed his phone light up with a notification. He unlocked it and clicked on it. 

Jake's snapchat username stared back at him. He opened it 

Jake smiled goofily at the camera in response to Rich’s streaks. Rich rolled his eyes, shaming himself for what he was about to do. Any excuse to talk to Jake. He would take any. 

He stuck his tongue out and took a selfie. He typed in a caption. 

'Wow what a dork you are’ it read. Jake opened it almost immediately. Rich waited for a response. A few minutes later, he got one. He waited until it said it was sent at least two minutes ago. Gotta seem cool and not desperate. 

Jake was making his double chin and finger guns. The caption read 'Takes one to know one’ 

The two continued talking until around midnight before Jake decided to go to sleep. 

Rich clicked his phone off and went back to staring at the ceiling. 

“I can't have feelings for Jake. I refuse…”


	2. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jeremy hurts. A lot.

He saw her. Jeremy noticed Christine standing near the exit of the school, waiting to get picked up. He wanted so badly to go up and say hi. 

“If you don't do it, I will.” Michael slinked his arm around Jeremy's shoulders. 

“What? No don't do that.” 

“Well then what are you waiting for?” 

“I can't just go up to her and start saying stuff! That'd be weird…” Jeremy trailed off. He stared at Christine, who was talking to some of her fellow actors. They had just finished up the last performance of this year's school play. 

“CH-” Michael started calling out before Jeremy slapped a hand over his mouth. 

“What do you think you're doing?” He hissed. He couldn't let himself be embarrassed. It seemed like Christine had been avoiding making conversation with Jeremy lately, and it gave him physical chest pains. He knew he was probably bothering her when she had a million other things to be doing. 

“Go. Over. There.” Michael nudged Jeremy in the direction of the short girl. The friends she was talking to said their goodbyes and left. Jeremy took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for the worst. He could do this. A simple hello, congratulations, and a nice warm smile. Simple, right? He was about to start walking over to her when Jake walked up instead. Jeremy stumbled back and speed walked back towards Michael. 

Jake said some things to Christine. They smiled, they laughed, they hugged. As they embraced each other, Jeremy felt a knot in his chest twist even tighter. 

“Oh…” he muttered through clenched teeth. His stomach filled with butterflies. They weren't the good kind either. They were the kind that felt as though your insides were being stabbed a thousand times by the tiniest of blades. They were the kind that felt as though everything in your life was about to horribly wrong. Like a floodgate of negative emotion was suddenly crashing open. 

Jeremy knew it was stupid. After all, this whole thing was just a stupid school crush, right? It sure didn't feel like it to him. He'd never felt this strongly towards anyone in this way before. And now he had to watch her more than likely flirt with someone else. 

And he also knew that it was entirely unrealistic. Christine Canigula and Jeremy Heere. They came from two completely separate worlds. Maybe there were some things in common, but not many. The occasional interaction or smile in the hallway was the most he ever got. And it hurt like a motherfucker. 

Christine and Jake took a picture together. Another knife through the heart. They smiled and laughed and laughed and smiled and took more pictures. It was cute to anyone who wasn't practically in love with one of them. But to Jeremy, it was torture enough to make him want to bleach his eyes and grab onto his heart. Force it to stop feeling any emotion at all. He'd give anything to stop feeling the kind of sick he felt in that moment. 

Of course, he could stop watching them. Stop being a creep. Stop standing around. He could get out of there and save himself the pain. But for some reason, he wanted to stick around. He didn't know why he stayed. He thought that maybe Jake would leave, and he could go up to Christine. Talk to her for a minute or two. 

And Jake did leave. But it wasn't in the way Jeremy wanted him to. He flashed his cheesy grin at her and held his hand out. He said something inaudible. Christine smiled back and handed him her bag. They talked some more. 

“Let's go. This was stupid.” Jeremy turned around and walked through the crowd. Michael sighed and shook his head, but not arguing. He followed. 

“You okay dude?” He asked. He knew how Jeremy felt. He understood the pain. But he, of course, could never say anything about that. 

“I'm fine. It's fine. It's not like I had some sort of chance. This whole thing was stupid. A stupid idea.” Jeremy continued to ramble under his breath. They arrived at Michael’s PT Cruiser and hopped in. 

“It's gonna be okay. Time will pass and you'll find someone,” he assured him. Jeremy stared out the window as they backed out if their parking spot. 

“Yeah. I know it's stupid to get so jealous but it just hurts either way. Y'know? I mean Jake lowers my confidence by like a gatrillion percent. I'm not as good as him, and it's no shocker that Christine would pick him, or anyone for that matter, over me.” 

“Hey. I don't wanna hear that. Christine is definitely missing out on a great person. I will literally fight you on how great you are.” 

Jeremy leaned his head against the window and stared out as they drove out. 

“I don't deserve you,” he said. 

“Of course you do.” 

As they were driving through the parking lot, Jeremy saw Christine and Jake still walking together. He carried her bag as they walked side by side down the rows of cars. They looked happy. Christine didn't look disgusted and annoyed to see Jake. 

It felt like whenever Jeremy wanted to start a conversation with Christine, she was unsure about it. Her heart wasn't in it. And that broke Jeremy's. He couldn't stand this. And it wasn't like he could do anything. 

After all, it was just a stupid school crush. Time would pass, time would heal it, and time would make him forget. He hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so this is about the same person as the last chapter just different characters. I hurt. Jeremy hurts. We all hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I needed to vent so I decided to use writing as an outlet and it worked I feel a lot better.


End file.
